For Families of Addicts – You Didn’t Cause It

This wonderful article was written for the parents of addicts, it is being shared here with permission of the author, Stephanie Sears.

Here are a few things I’ve figured out along the way in dealing with addiction. These are things I wish someone had shared with me early on. Please know these are my thoughts and my experiences from the last six years of my son’s substance use disorder. These words are by no means a one size fits all approach. You have to do what works best for your family.


You didn’t cause it.

You can’t cure it.

You can’t control it.

You cannot fix them.

You didn’t do anything wrong. Do you hear me? YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

You can’t work their recovery for them. You can support them and make sure they know they are worthy and they are enough but they need to work their own recovery. You should work on yours.

Get yourself and your spouse some help. Therapy and Nar-Anon are good places to start.

Not trying to be a downer but relapse can happen many times and it doesn’t mean they can’t get clean and stay that way. They have to learn how to be and stay sober. Strive for forward movement not perfection. Try not to make them feel bad for setbacks. Life is full of setbacks.

Don’t take it personally when they/if they lie to you. Addicts will do and say anything for their next fix. It’s truly not personal.

Realize your loved one has a disease and it is recognized by the American medical association as such.

Although your loved one has a disease and that disease is not their fault, not fighting the disease is. They need to fight. It’s an insanely tough fight.

Don’t enable. Which means don’t do anything for your loved one that he/she can do for themselves. This is A LOT harder than it sounds. Having said this, loving your child and keeping them close is not enabling. The whole “rock bottom” approach IMO is archaic thinking. Rock bottom is a place where some go to get better but it’s also a place where some of our babies die. The opposite of addiction is connection. Stay connected if it’s safe for you to do so.

Don’t judge your loved one. I know it sounds crazy to say this when sometimes they are making bad decision after bad decision but it’s not your place to judge. It’s your place to love them through it.

Don’t say….. “You need to” or “If you would just” and instead say “How can I help?”

Don’t forget to tell your loved one you love them. Tell them daily. They need to know you still love them even though they are not perfect. This sounds easy but dealing with an addict in active addiction is nowhere near easy and some days you will feel like you couldn’t possibly utter the words I love you. But do it anyway. It’s important.

Remember, the opposite of addiction is connection.

Meet them where they are. What this means to me is to lower or completely get rid of expectations for how I think things should go and how things should be. When I expect things to go a certain way I’m almost always disappointed and my son feels that. It hurts him and that’s not something I ever want to do. Since I can’t control or change things I choose to meet my son where he is. This has made our relationship immensely better and has brought us even closer.

Although you can’t fix them, please don’t disregard the part a supportive family can play in an addict’s mindset and recovery. Family support matters.

Do not sit in shame. Addiction needs to be talked about and often. Do all you can to stop the stigma of addiction.

Addiction is a family disease.

Never forget, where there is life, there is hope.

Never, ever give up.

One day at a time. Don’t get ahead of yourself.

Be thankful for the good days.

Live in the moment.

If no one has told you they love you today, I do.

Fantastic Reddit Post after Ibogaine Flood Dose

Great Account of an Ibogaine Flood Dose for Addiction Treatment

The time had finally come for me to take my flood dose around 8:30am, I was ready. I wasn’t afraid to take the ibogaine anymore like I was the months and days leading up to it. I figured that I was already knocking on deaths door with the severity of my using. So if I were to die, at least I’d die trying to heal myself. So the nurses hooked me up to an EKG, IV and blood pressure machine for safety precautions. The doctor weighed out my pills according to my body weight before dispensing them he said, “This medicine has been used for hundreds of years by the Bwiti tribe as a right of passage. You should feel honored to have this opportunity” and I was. So by this point my withdrawals were starting to become unbearable, so I looked at him with zero hesitation and popped 7 pills of ibogaine. After 35-40 min I could feel tingling in my all my limbs, I also felt a burning in my chest. It actually felt really nice, almost a bit euphoric. As I lay there I could feel the medicine take over my entire body, as if an extraterrestrial had entered my bloodstream and was taking over. I could feel it doing it’s work on my brain repairing the virus known as addiction. The first part of my waking dream was very introspective. I realized that I loved myself. I didn’t want to harm myself ever again. I also gained some other other personal insights. The second part of the dream was about Gaia, the universe and how we are all connected. I never had been spiritual and considered myself an atheist but after seeing what the plant showed me I believe in “One”. I didn’t expect to come out of the experience becoming spiritually woke but I was. I went in to ibogaine treatment hoping to kick heroin and possibly cigarettes but to my surprise the medicine revealed all of my my addictions and interrupted every single last one of them. I’m one month post ibogaine and no longer addicted or craving. After my trip I didn’t smoke another cigarette and I immediately threw them in the trash. I also stopped drinking caffeine, eating processed foods, meat/animal products, alcohol, social media (FB/IG), sneaker-head addiction, I became a minimalist, I’m also more mindful of how I speak to people, what I watch on tv or YouTube, I make sure I limit my usage. This was all so unexpected especially becoming a vegan.


The Addict’s Family

family issue

One of the saddest components of addiction stories is the complete destruction of the family.  Families of addicts must maintain a clear delineation between the disease that is addiction and the person behind the disease – the person who has basically disappeared.  That person can return and the Ibogaine / Iboga experience is one of the best treatments to not only break the physical addiction cycle, but to cause some deep introspection at the soul level. 

To a family member, it may seem that the addict is completely lost for good.  They don’t care about any of the consequences of their behavior other than getting their fix.  Stealing, cheating, lying, fighting, not caring one iota about one’s life don’t even register for an addict – their entire BEING has be consumed by the addiction.  Even so, that person is still there at the soul level.  They can return.  They can care.  They can love again.  The damage can be repaired.

Opioid drug crisis: could the whole US Congress be impeached?

this is a must read from the brilliant Jon Rappoport:


by Jon Rappoport

September 30, 2019

First, a little background. Then I’ll get to the Congress. And Obama.

Severe addiction, mental dislocation, death. Millions of people are facing the devastating effects of the pharma drugs called opioids, on the streets of America—illegally trafficked.



Those are the official estimates, as of about 2 years ago. The numbers are rising.

We need to understand that people with deep physical pain should be able to obtain sufficient painkillers from doctors. Shortages being experienced are coming from drug over-enforcement in the wrong direction.

The situation is made more complex by the fact that traditional morphine, plus another few synthetic opioids, would be sufficient to handle all patients’ needs. BUT, when I started counting the pharmaceutical opioids in the marketplace, I stopped at 50. This is insane. There is absolutely no need for all these derivatives. And they make regulation and enforcement far more difficult. But the drug companies don’t care. They pursue profit.

Where are all the opioids that are maiming and killing people coming from? Who is launching these drugs on to the streets of nations?

Three main criminal sources of US opioids: pharmaceutical companies, like Purdue, who’ve filled gargantuan orders they KNOW are going to traffickers; Chinese labs; and Mexican processors and smugglers.


New Studies Confirm the Effectiveness of Ibogaine in Stopping Opioid Addiction

New Studies Confirm the Effectiveness of Ibogaine in Stopping Opioid Addiction

Dylan Charles, Editor
Waking Times

The opioid crisis in America has reached epidemic levels and overdose deaths continue to rise. While the destructive effects of heroin and pharmaceutical opioids ravage communities and destroy families, the federal government is considering harsh new mandatory sentences for opioid crimes, demonstrating a heart-breaking disconnect from reality when it comes to disrupting dependence on these insanely addictive and deadly drugs.

“In 2015, the most recent year tracked by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), more that 52,000 people in the U.S. died from drug overdoses, or about 144 each day, with the majority of those deaths opioid-related. Nationwide, fatal opioid overdoses increased 652 percent from 2000 to 2015, according to CDC statistics, and every indication is that the problem has grown worse in 2016.” [Source]

Opioids in the U.S. are far more deadly than terrorism and even firearms, yet because they fall into the uncomfortable category of addiction and are primarily the result of the legal pharmaceutical industry, the problem is largely ignored by mainstream media, and the government authorized solutions don’t help.


Dr. Mercola Lambasts Big Pharma and Government on Opioid Addiction

By Dr. Mercola

Since 1999, the rate of drug overdose deaths has tripled in the U.S., rising to 63,600 deaths in 2016. This represents a 21 percent increase in deaths from 2015 alone, according to a U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) report.1 The majority of the overdose deaths — 66 percent — involved opioids, a class of drugs so addictive and dangerous that the opioid epidemic was declared a public health emergency in 2017.

To put this in perspective, drug overdose deaths from opioids totaled 42,249 in 2016, which is over 1,000 more deaths than were caused by breast cancer that same year.2 To say it again, more Americans are now dying from overdosing on opioids than from breast cancer. Such deaths have also surpassed deaths from AIDs during the peak of its epidemic.

Robert Anderson, chief of the mortality statistics branch at the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), told the Daily Journal, “We’ve gone well beyond [the AIDS epidemic] now … It’s hard to take in.”3 The death rates for 2017 appear to be rising still, with provisional data already at an estimate of more than 66,000 overdose deaths. “The fact that the data is incomplete and they represent an increase is concerning,” Anderson told CNN.4


What is Fentanyl?

Fentanyl is a synthetic, or manufactured Opioid.  In the last 5 years, deaths from Fentanyl or similar Opioid synthetics have overtaken Heroin deaths.  The numbers are astounding and frightening. Drug overdoes remain the leading cause of death for Americans under 50 years of age.  Of the 64,000 overdose deaths in 2016, approximately 20,100 were Fentanyl (or similar synthetic), 15,400 were Heroin, 14,400 were due to prescription opioids, 10,600 Cocaine, 7,600 Methamphetamine, and 3,200 Methadone.  If we subtract out the Cocaine and Meth overdoses, a little quick math shows us that Opioids, both natural and synthetic account for about 83% of the overdose fatalities in the United States.

Clearly, we have a crisis and that crisis is caused by our medical establishment’s willingness to over-prescribe Opioids to control pain. Once hooked on the prescription medication, addicts often move to heroin as it is easy to obtain and much cheaper than the prescription version.  Fentanyl is a fine powder.  It is extremely potent and can be made into imitation prescription pills, blended with heroin, or sold as street heroin.  Many Fentanyl deaths result from unknown or unintended exposure to this synthetic that is easily imported into the U.S. due to it’s intense potency.

The picture in this article, sums up the danger of Fentanyl.  READ MORE at

Why fentanyl is deadlier than heroin, in a single photo